The Divided States of America

We are a nation divided. Split– along racial lines, gender lines, class lines, sexual orientation lines, political party affiliation lines, generational lines and moral lines. In the closely contested presidential race of 2012, regardless of who won, we knew there were going to be bitter, angry people on the other side. And now that the election is over, it is time for us to move forward as a nation unless we want to perish as a nation. We are fractured. We are broken. But we are not beyond healing. For us to move forward we must stand in the shoes of those we oppose. 

We must push past what we believe to be true, to understand there is not only one Truth, but many Truths. Though America is the land of many opportunities it is not the land of equal opportunity. The perks of privilege do pay, and give some of us a hand up. And though it may be difficult for some to get ahead, it is not impossible. We must understand that the fruition of dreams can happen to the least of us if it’s what we really want and are willing to work to get it.

We must understand that issues are not stark lines of black or white, but muddied shades of grey. Who are we to impose our beliefs and values on others? Is there a way for us to get along even when we don’t agree? We need to recognize that differences make us unlike, not better or worse. We need to understand that beneath those differences we still share basic human needs. We need to work, to have health insurance, to get an education and to enjoy our lives. 

We are not White Vs People of Color, Men Vs. Women, Rich Vs the Middle Class Vs the Poor, Straight Vs Gay, Democrats Vs. Republicans, Elders Vs Youth and any other superficial lines of division. We are the sum of our parts – not the parts. We must understand that no group is going to get everything that they want. We must compromise. We are split, and that which is split eventually breaks into. Is that what we want?

The next four years are going to require the work of all us to begin to repair the damage done over the years. America is changing. What will you do to gain a better understanding of those you think are different from you? The Divided States of America needs to truly become the United States of America. What are you going to do in your corner of the world to make that happen?

middle of no where

I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

For better or worse.. .That is what husband and wives pledge to each other when they take their vows. But how many of them actually think about and prepare for the worst? In writer, director’s Ava DuVernay’s film, middle of no where, it is the worse part of the marriage vows that Ruby finds herself facing.

When we meet Ruby, she is on the way to visit her husband who is incarcerated for the possession and sale of guns and is doing an 8 year bid. Ruby, a nurse, who has dreams of medical school puts her dream on hold to be the dutiful wife. It would be too hard to be in medical school and still visit Derek on the weekends and she doesn’t want to not be able to take his calls she rationalizes much to the dismay of both her mother and her sister.

Derek tries to get Ruby to go on with her life, but she refuses. She tells him that she’ll be there for him. Ruby keeps abreast of everything that’s happening with Derek. She reads through his file. She stays in contact with the attorney. She visits him every weekend and waits patiently by the phone for his calls. They can do this, she tells him. She has high hopes for an early release date.

But when she shows up at his hearing, new information sends her into a tailspin and she lands in the arms of, Brian,  a bus driver on whose route she rides every day. Ruby reluctantly agrees to go out with Brian, but she doesn’t tell him the whole story behind the wedding ring on her finger. She only says that she and her husband are separated.

Like Ruby, Brian is also wounded. He is separated from his wife, and doesn’t see any signs of reconciliation. So, he pursues not knowing her circumstances. Ruby struggles to make sense of life, but she stumbles to find her Truth—whatever it might be. She can’t seem to escape her past, and she has no idea what the future holds and she finds herself frozen with no idea how to break free of a life that’s holding her hostage.

This taut, slowly dripping across the screen like molasses film,  deals with the nuances of everyday life. It’s not about good guys and bad guys or even happy endings.  It is a film of culpability and vulnerability. It is about the messiness of life; and that in the midst of that messiness, life marches on.

Letting Go

I sucked in my breath and closed my eyes as I tried to ignore him whispering soft

and sweet in my ear. Then I felt his lips brush against my neck lightly; chill

bumps popping up on my skin. Ignoring him wasn’t working because the nearness of him cocooned me. As he pulled me in close, I told myself, I shouldn't be doing this. I inhaled and closed my eyes thinking, Why can’t I say no to him? Why is it so hard? But I know my questions are more rhetorical than real. The truth is that I’ve been under his spell for so long that his seduction is part of my existence. I live it; I breathe it.

 I don’t even remember when our ill-fated love affair started. It’s like I looked up into his beautiful face and I’ve been captivated ever since. And while I know this illicit love affair isn't good for me, I don’t know how to pull away and end it. I can't imagine my life without him. If I leave him, What will I do?

I know our relationship is unhealthy because I allow him to cloud  my better judgment. He's controlling.  Possessive. Jealous. He wants to rule me; sometimes I fight; most times I surrender. I know I need to leave him, but I don't know if I can. I don’t know if I even want to. The one thing I can say about him is that he is a faithful lover. He shows up for me. Always. My lover's name: Fear

Severing Ties

I had to sever ties with one of my best friends recently, and it's been hard not to just call her up and patch things up.  I never thought I'd miss her so much because we’ve been tight as a pair of too small Spanks. When I was down and I wanted somebody to pick me up, she did that for me. She was always there for me. But her absence has caused me to take a good look at myself and face My Truth.

As much as I appreciated her, I knew our relationship was built on lies and deceit. She told me what I wanted to know even when the truth was for my own good. When I was holding my breath to button my pants, and the waist band was slicing into my flesh, she turned her head and acted like she didn't see. She reassured me that I was just thick not fat. That I was sexy even as my Commodores Brickhouse expanded into condominium unit. And even though I knew our relationship was toxic, it didn’t stop us from being friends until The Truth came knocking so hard and loud that I couldn’t ignore it anymore.

So, when I took a long hard look at my life and the way things were going, I knew I had to end it; she never would. Severing ties with someone is never easy, but I knew it was best. I also knew that because of the kind of person that she was that she would make friends easily. It was just her way. There would be someone to take my place. A word to the wise: If you meet my friend, don’t get sucked into her web of deceit. She’ll seem cool at first, but once she gets real close, you’ll wish you’d never met her. My friend’s name: Denial.
Do we share the same friend or do you have a different friend that you need to let go of?

The Mayor, His Minions and CPS

 

The mayor has thrown a rock and hid his hand! When the new post-strike schedule was posted on the CPS website, CPS was bombarded with calls from angry parents about the change in the spring break schedule and the mayor had the audacity to blame it on teachers!

Don’t be fooled by the age-old divide and conquer strategy being used by Mayor Rahm Emanuel. He is trying to pit parents against teachers  just as he did teachers against teachers when he offered schools money to extend their day before the extended school was approved.

It’s not teachers, but the mayor and his minion Board of Education members that are forcing a hardship on the children of CPS. This week the administrative teams in more than 200 schools on the Track E schedule will have to come up with contingency plans of their own when a large number of teachers will be out due to plans made prior to the Board of Education’s decision to make up strike days in October for Track E schools.

In a vengeful act against teachers, the Board of Education forced teachers to take personal and sick days for previously planned non-refundable vacation and scheduled appointments. Track E Schools are out for three weeks in December. Why not take one of those weeks? The Board took two days in December from the Regular Track schools, two holidays and added days at the end of the year. The strike dates have already been put back into the calendar. So, why change the spring break date at all? It seems like a power play and a total disregard for the teachers, parents and students of CPS.

When you look at all that has happened since the mayor took office, it’s hard to believe that he actually believes in the CPS motto of Children First. He was determined to extend the school day without input from parents and he forged ahead with his agenda despite opposition from sixteen parent groups who joined forces in the spring and lobbied against the longer school day. Wendy Katten of Raise your Hand Coalition, a CPS parent group said in an article in  Catalysis magazine that they have tried unsuccessfully to meet with the mayor about issues in CPS schools.  And yet, Bruce Rauner, an out of town venture capitalist has the mayor’s ear. In an interview on Chicago Tonight following the end of the teachers’ strike, he arrogantly stated that the parents who sided with teachers during the strike were misinformed. “Parents don’t really understand what’s really going on in their schools. As long as their child feels safe and the teacher is a pleasant person, they think things are alright.”

So, the mayor who sends his children to the University of Chicago Lab School and an out of town billionaire know better than the teachers who teach the children of Chicago and the parents who send their children to school every day? Let’s not be fooled by a publicity campaign designed to hide the dismantling of public education for the people who need it the most. Rauner was right when he said that there is a war in education in Chicago, but I don’t think he’s fighting on the side served by the CPS population.