What's a Girl to Do?

It began with an innocent comment on Facebook. Someone sent me a request to sign a petition against Target's support of a right wing political candidate, and I made a joke and said, "No Walmart, no Target, what's a girl supposed to do?"

There were two responses to my statement: I was advised to shop at Costco because they're owned by decent people, and it was also suggested that I patronize my local vendors.Even though both comments make perfectly good sense,I had to shake my head and laugh at the absurdity of it all. Something that began innocently has morphed into an internal debate about what do I do, really?

There has been a boycott of Walmart because of its unfair labor practices, and if there's no Walmart (which I'm not a big fan of anyway), then there's also no Sam's Club shopping since they are both owned by the Walmart family. And so, even though Walmart is cheaper, I honor the boycott and shop elsewhere. My co-worker had a computer notebook, and I asked her where she bought it because I'm in the market for one, and she said Walmart. I told her I didn't shop at Walmart, and explained my reason, and she said she likes to shop at Walmart and save her money. She said the notebook and some other items cost her $400.00 at Walmart, and the same items would have cost about $600.00 at Walmart.

The stores closest to me are Walgreens, Target and Jewel Osco, and I struggle with shopping in the blighted area where I live because the quality and quantity of vendors is lacking. The dollar circulates in the African-American community only once before leaving, and so I shop to keep to keep businesses in my community even when I have to ask for items that are housed under lock and key. I shop in my community when the store hours posted say 7:00 p.m. and the door is locked at 6:52, and I have to show the clerk the time on my phone so that she can open the door. Sometimes I don't shop where I live because the customer service because I know deserve better, but how will my community thrive as it once did if the people who live there shop elsewhere? What is my political stance because I have to take one.

I like Costco, but shopping there requires a membership fee, and it is not in close proximity to my home. So, I have to spend more time and money to shop there. It's only me, so I don't buy in large quantities so I don't know if I get much bang for my buck, but I can shop there if I want.If I want to travel I can go to Whole Foods or Treasure Island, too. I have options should I choose to exercise them, but what about people who have limited or no options--the ones who may not have the extra cash to spend or the transportation to travel outside of the 'hood?

Even on Facebook, I am reminded of the growing chasm between the "haves" and the "have nots" in our society and it's an settling like something I ate that didn't properly digest and is churning around in my stomach. I live in two worlds and they do collide. I don't want to support unfair labor practices, nor do I want to send the message that it's ok to support political candidates,but I also want to see my community thrive, and so I ask again, what's a girl supposed to do?

Pain and Peril

Pain and Peril
We are a nation in peril; we are a nation in pain.
I have grown used to the paradox of police presence in my neighborhood--a presence that can be both comforting and discomforting, but needed. Last summer I began to worry about the interactions between the police and the people because I could see that the people were not afraid. I have seen crowds disperse at the first sign of police presence, but I don’t see that as much anymore. I have stood and watched young people stand in defiance. They neither near fear nor respect an officer’s badge.
We are a nation in peril; we are a nation in pain.
Three police officers killed since May and not even in the line of duty, but after work when they should have been able to return to civilian life: Thomas Wortham IV was killed in a robbery attempt in front of his parents’ home. He had recently returned home from a second tour in Iraq. Thor Soderberg gun was taken from him and was used to take his life in broad day light in the parking lot of the police station after ending his shift. Michael R. Bailey, 62, weeks from retirement, was outside washing his retirement gift to himself--a new car, when he was shot.
We are a nation in peril; we are a nation in pain
How do we expect to survive when we will take anyone’s life for anything? When we kill those whose job it is to serve and protect, what hope is there for the rest of us? If we can kill an officer on a dare, shoot an officer with his own weapon, and kill an officer as he waxes his car, how are we living, really? We are living recklessly and it’s scary. People are angry people, and people are in pain. Hearts are bleeding and the blood is running into our streets. What can we do to stop the flow?
We are a nation in peril; we are a nation in pain.
How do we return to a place of respect? Have we trashed our humanity so much that it is as disposable as the paper and plastic goods we use for eating and throw away? We have and always will be imperfect people, but does our humanity have to render us inhumane in our actions toward one another?
We don’t have to live in peril; we don’t have to live in pain.

I found an easy way to oppose Illinois school cuts!

I found an easy way to oppose Illinois school cuts!

Up in the Air

Have you ever seen the George Clooney movie, Up in the Air? The movie takes its title from the main character, Ryan Bingam's quest for frequent flier miles as he zig zags across the country firing people. Bingam loves his job and is very efficient at it because he is detached from the people in his life. He is single, no children and has two sisters that he keeps in touch with via phone from time to time. I watched the movie thinking his job sucks never imagining that I would soon meet the likes of Ryan Bingam.

After sixteen years in the classroom, I decided to expand my career opportunities by becoming a mentor teacher. So, I left the comfort and security of the classroom to go from school to school helping beginning teachers become better teachers. Even though my work was challenging and sometimes disheartening, I took joy in the fact that I had an active role in shaping the minds of our children. All that changed on Wednesday, June 16, 2010.


I reported for a mandatory meeting at 8:30 a.m. and before 9:00 am, my career flight was canceled. After 18 years of service to the children in the Chicago Public School system I began my rapid descent to the bottom with no safety net--no pay out for my 10 weeks worth of sick days, no insurance after June 30, no regard for my tenured status or my commitment to the students in CPS. I stayed after being urged to get out of CPS students be damned.

Just as in the movie, two professionally dressed people (in my case, women) read from the prepared script and handed us our lives in brown envelopes addressed to each one of us individually. In there were our letters of "honorable termination", explanations of how we were further being screwed because of a loophole in our union contract, a sheet of FAQs, information on unemployment and health insurance which cost nearly as much as the maximum unemployment benefits.

Everything that was up in the air came crashing down in that surreal moment. Do you know what it feels like to fall and not know where you're going to land? Do you know how scary it is because you don't know what you'll slam into on the way down? Do you know what it feels like to not know if you're going to land on your feet, fall to your knees, or be flat on your back?


Me and 54 of my colleagues crash landed and now we have to sort through the debris that's left so we can get ready for the next leg of this journey. Bingam prided himself on not carrying excess baggage which made it easier for him to disconnect. Maybe we should take a lesson from Bingam and pack lightly but what's the point of traveling if you're not going to enjoy the trip?

Calling All Gatekeepers—Part 2

In my work as an educator, I go to schools in different areas of the city. My job is sit and observe the teaching and learning that is taking place and share what I’ve learned with the teachers. Today I'm going to share what some of what I've learned because it extends beyond the academic; I learn about life. And much of what I see saddens, frightens and angers me. Our children mirror us and the reflection is not always pretty.

Vignette #1
I am talking with a principal about a child’s in appropriate language in class. We are discussing how and why these children are able talk about the things that that do. Before our conversation ends, she shares with me a note that was confiscated from two girls. It read: I got an ass so big like the sun, Hope you got a mile for a dick I wanna run. She asked me how could these children--these little girls-- know these things, I told her they were probably song lyrics, and I volunteered to do some investigating. I googled the lyrics and found that the girls had written down the first verses verbatim from a song by Trina.


Vignette #2
I am working with a group of students in a classroom, when I hear commotion behind me. I turn around to see the teacher stepping between two girls trying to separate them before they fight. She manages to get one of the girls out of the room, and some of the girls in the room are holding onto the other girl as she yells, "Bitch, I will kill you! I will kill you right now!" as she tries to break free of their grip. “Y’all betta let me go,” she screams at them. They do. She heads toward the door, but I tell her she’s not going anywhere. She sits down and fumes at me. When her teacher returns she storms across the room, snatches a chair away from one of the desk and slams herself into the chair.

Vignette #3
It has been a particularly trying day in the classroom, and the teacher is frustrated and overwhelmed with trying to restore any order. She comes to where I am sitting and explains some of the problems that she’s having in the classroom. These two girls are talking. “She’ll sit back there and talk to her, but I bet she won’t say it to my face.”

The girls in all of these scenarios are in elementary school. The first Vignette is taken from a 4th grade classroom and the second and third vignettes are taken from 5th grade classrooms. These girls think they are on par with any adult. They look like women and act like women. I see blond weave, acrylic nails and nightclub outfits in elementary school. One girl came to school for Halloween and refused to come out of the bathroom. When I went to check on her and she came out of the stall, she had on a denim mini skirt, a v-neck low cut shirt, red strappy heels and a phony pony for her hair. When I asked her who she was supposed to be, she told me her mom told her to be a Diva.

Younger and younger they're being exposed to a world that they’re not
equipped to handle. And because they’re not ready, they end up being confused and very angry. They have no respect for self or anyone else.

Overheard
Class is ending. A male student in the class has done something to one of the girls. I don’t know what he did, but I hear her tell him, “You a pussy.” There are three adults present and she has no regard for any of us. I wait for one of the other adults to say something, but they don't. So, I do even though my role in the schools is that of an observer.I get her attention and I tell her that I heard what she said. She apologizes. I ask her did it dawn on her that there were three adults in the room. She said no. I ask why she would use that type of language. She hunches up her shoulders. I tell her she should find a better way. I also tell her that she's too pretty to let something so ugly come out of her mouth.

This girl comes into class and she’s angry. Someone has said something to upset her friend, and her friend is crying. Her loyalty is fierce. Her respect is lacking. “I wish I would heard somebody say I suck a nigga dick. She be right there with me suckin’ it.” The teacher is in the hall and doesn't have a clue about the conversation that is going on inside the classroom. Again I say something. In either of these scenarios will it matter tomorrow? I don’t know, but I said something today because they need to know that somebody cares about them and is going to hold them accountable for their actions. They don't really want to be grown yet; they just think they do.

Incidents like these happen every day, and I share them not for shock value, but for us to take action. Our boys are in trouble, and our girls are, too. Is there a girl that you can help in anyway today?

Calling All Gatekeepers

I know. I know. I know already! Sex sells. But do we really need to put seven year-old girls on the auction block. Call me traditional, old school, old-fashioned, whatever, but I think the little girls dancing to Beyonce’s Put A Ring On It is another example of us blurring the lines between adults and children. We are not one and the same, and we need to stop acting like we are. These are little girls, not little women. Children do not have filters to determine what’s appropriate and what’s not; that’s our job—the adults, and too many of us are lousing it up.

We are the so-called gatekeepers in our community and we have flung the gates wide open and allowed the piped pipers of super sexuality, media, technology, and declining morality to come into our homes and seduce us with their hypnotic sign-of-the-times melodies. We think: it’s just the way things are these days. But is it? These little girls are dancing their hearts out to a well-choreographed routine which means that someone taught them, someone came up with the idea for the costumes, and someone thought this was a great way for them to showcase their talent. Hello! Adults. Anybody home?

There’s no argument that these little girls are talented and enthusiastic, but I am disturbed by the video because between the sexy costumes and the provocative dance moves, the only thing missing is a pole and maybe a few dollars thrown on the stage. I saw Little Miss Sunshine, and I thought her routine was hilarious, but was a movie full of satirical content.

I remember days from my childhood when I clomped around in my mother’s shoes playing dress up. I knew her shoes were too big for me, but for a little while I could pretend. We’re not allowing children to experience the magic and the joy of make believe. Today we’re forcing their feet into shoes they’re not ready to wear. So, I’m wondering when the gatekeepers are going come to our senses and close the gate.

Things Are Getting Interesting

Drive through any urban enclave and be seduced by the sexy-chic, beautiful people begging for your attention in the Remy Martin ads. Unless you’re blind or totally oblivious, you can’t miss them because they’re everywhere-- plastered all over bill boards and bus stops.
There are two ads. One with two women, one Black and one White and the Black woman has a chain in her mouth that extends from the White woman’s neck. The other features a Black man with two women of color. What’s interesting about these advertisements is hint at a funky kind of fluid sexuality that’s permeating our sexually-repressed-but-let’s-pretend-like-we’re not society.
It’s been said that one of the most popular male sexual fantasies is to have sex with two women and a woman’s sexual fantasy is to have sex with another woman. So, it seems that Remy Martin is capitalizing on these fantasies by pushing into the consciousness of certain aspects of society through its $3.8 million dollar ad campaign that is focused in five key areas: New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Chicago and Miami with the brand’s core target market being “influential, social and urban males, ages 25 to 35.”
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Supposedly the tagline: “Things Are Getting Interesting” is a “metaphor for an exclusive place, an underground lounge, where multicultural people mix and mingle, according to Roberto Cruz, brand director for Remy Martin Cognac USA said in an online article on promomagazine.com. I guess the definition of mixing and mingling is being taken to a whole new level.
The more my psyche is assaulted with these images, the more bothered I am by them. They reinforce the stereotype of African-American people as hypersexual and animalistic. If the ads truly denote a place where multicultural meet, then where are the other men? Why does the Black woman have the chain between her teeth? I guess I should give them credit for progress because she is the one holding the chain as opposed to the one being chained. Last, but not least, the ads blatantly lie about our evolving sexuality.
In our homophobic, paternalistic culture we are sending the message that sex between two women is ok because men egoistically believe that the only thing missing from the sandwich is the meat. And as long as a man feels that he can insert himself (pun intended) between two women, then all is well in the world.
Well, it may seem like “things are getting interesting” but it's really much of the same ol’ same ol.